Eight Chocolate Beers to Love on Valentine’s Day

By Anne-Fitten Glenn

Chocolate has long been a traditional Valentine’s gift—one that’s designed to incite passion and inflame the heart of a loved one. Yet those paper boxes of chocolate-covered nougats are so cliché, and let’s admit it, not a particularly creative gift.

Luckily for us craft beer lovers, there are many delicious and unique chocolate beers being crafted by U.S. breweries—just in time for the national day of romance.

After all, both chocolate and beer are possible aphrodisiacs. A few of the compounds found in chocolate are the same as those produced when you’re happy and euphoric. Beer is relaxing, and when enjoyed in moderation, increases desire and reduces inhibitions—don’t forget that too much alcohol can have the opposite effect. Do pay attention to ABVs, as we want the special night’s beer to be performance enhancing, not performance impairing!

If you’re single, newly single or just not in the mood to hear me wax poetic about chocolate-infused beers, don’t worry, I have some recommendations for you as well. Just skip over the “love” beers and go straight to the end of the article.

As a professional beer drinker and chocoholic, I can’t think of many nectars more appealing than chocolate beer, and here are some of my decadent craft  beer “love” recommendations:

Eight Chocolate Beers to Love on Valentine’s Day

27th Anniversary Bourbon Barrel-Aged Double Chocolate Imperial Stout | Karl Strauss Brewing | San Diego, CA
In keeping with their yearly tradition, Karl Strauss will honor the occasion with the release of another innovative barrel-aged beer to add to their esteemed Anniversary Series. This year’s edition is a Bourbon Barrel-Aged Double Chocolate Imperial Stout that features an abundance of darkly kilned malts and a decadent helping of cocoa nibs with rich layers of smooth toasted oak and warming bourbon.

Sexual Chocolate | Foothills Brewing Co. | Winston-Salem, N.C.
This rich, cocoa-infused imperial stout has been released annually just before Valentine’s Day since 2006. It sells out quickly, and don’t we all want to say, “Baby, I brought the Sexual Chocolate?” This liquid chocolate brew is practically guaranteed to induce friskiness.

Lugene Chocolate Milk Stout | Odell Brewing Co. | Fort Collins, CO
Named after the truck owned by Lugene, the farmer who’s been feeding his dairy cows the brewery’s spent grain for over a decade, Lugene Chocolate Milk Stout is brewed with milk sugar and milk chocolate.

Imperial Choklat Stout | Southern Tier Brewing Co. | Lakewood, N.Y.
This lovely stout is made with bittersweet Belgian chocolate and packs an intense chocolate kick. Be sure to quaff this one slowly, and notice how the flavors develop as the beer warms.

Chocolatized| Pisgah Brewing Co. | Black Mountain, N.C.
The darkest of Pisgah brews, the beer formerly known as Vortex II took a significant transformation when Pisgah brewers added a heavy dose (25lbs in 5bbls) of raw cocoa nibs to the brite tanks, thus creating what will now only be known as “Chocolatized.”

Chocolate Stout | The Fort Collins Brewery | Fort Collins, CO
This seductively smooth stout has lipstick imprints on the label—just make sure you’re not wearing any while you’re drinking it—lipstick kills a beer’s head.

Down ‘n Dirty Chocolate Oatmeal Stout | Tyranena Brewing Co. | Lake Mills, WI
Wow, the sex jokes just write themselves with these beers. In truth, this thick, oaty stout is named in honor of a train that careened off of a treacherous railroad bridge and became mired in the mud forever. But you don’t have to tell your lover that.

Slumbrew Porter Square Porter | Somerville Brewing Co. | Somerville, MA
This rich porter is brewed with cocoa powder and conditioned on nibs from Taza Chocolate. Yum!

5 Beers for Singles on Valentine’s Day

andyheartAlimony Ale IPA | Buffalo Bill’s Brewery | Hayward, CA
While this beer is no longer the bitterest beer in America, it’s still billed as “irreconcilably different.” Alimony never tasted so sweet!

Raging Bitch | Flying Dog Brewing Co. | Fredrick, MD
This Belgian-style IPA is a perfect post-breakup beer regardless of your gender.

Total Domination IPA | Ninkasi Brewing Co. | Eugene, OR
Just relax and let the intense hop flavors of this beer dominate your senses. Thank Ninkasi (the Sumerian Goddess of beer and the brewery’s namesake) for this tasty treat.

Polygamy Porter | Wasatch Brew Pub & Brewing | Park City, UT
While it may be illegal to be married to more than one person at a time, it’s completely legal to enjoy more than one beer at a time.

Damnation | Russian River Brewing Co. | Santa Rosa, CA
This strong golden ale may just make you forget the seven levels of hell your ex put you through.